Oh, for goodness sake

[odycee]

Okay, so I haven't gone to bed yet. I was reading the Remus/Hermione essay over on ship_manifesto. (Ah, my secret HP het ship, why isn't there more of you?) Anyway, I went to one of the commenters journals and found an absolutely charming rant about Harry Potter of which this is an excerpt of:

I'M SORRY IF YOU DO A LOVELY JOB OF 'BOYSEX' -- IT DOESN'T BELONG IN FICTION WHERE THE CHARACTERS ARE, BY DEFAULT, INTERPRETED AS HETEROSEXUAL. GO READ A SERIES WITH CHARACTERS THAT DO, AND THEN WRITE TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT.

I AM SIMPLY SICK AND TIRED OF WATCHING HELPLESS CANON BE PILLAGED WITHOUT REMORSE TO SATISFY EVEN THE PERFECTLY NORMAL FANTASIES OF (OFTEN) THE FEMALE READERSHIP ENGAGED IN FAN-FICTION. IF YOU WERE TO DO SO TO ME, I WOULD INTELLECTUALLY KNOCK YOUR BLOCK OFF. IN FACT, I PLAN TO FIND OUT JUST HOW ANNE RICE DID WHAT SHE WAS ABLE TO DO TO PROTECT HER CREATIONS FROM THIS MINDLESS SELF INDULGENT BEHAVIOUR. IT WAS A BLOODY BRILLIANT MOVE.

And yes, it's all in caps. Urgh. So apparantly, by default, all HP characters are interpreted as heterosexual. Do you think JKR used a drop down menu like the following for the default sexuality setting of the characters?

[Poll #453535]

And she invoked the name of Anne Rice - Supreme Goddess of Wank. Priceless.

Comments

[odycee.livejournal.com]

And just to clarify, I'm not bashing on Remus/Hermione, which does strike me as one of the less cracktastic pairings out there.

It's less cracktastic than Lucius/Harry(!) for instance, but it's still pretty high on the cracktastic scale. I've got a soft spot for Remus/Hermione but it's got to be some damn good writing to make me believe it. But I guess seeing as the "default interpretation" is heterosexual it's got to make more sense than Sirius/Remus. *eyeroll*

It's just that WOW is that so never going to happen in the books.

Not in a billion years.